#yesIwill

Somehow a year has flown by and I have yet to write anything on here.  I'm sincerely hoping to write on here at LEAST once a week......just have to get that discipline down.  So much has happened with us the last year, and I will recap in another post.  For now, I'm going to focus on "yes I will."

I don't know how many of you have heard the song "Yes I Will" by Vertical Motion....but man does it give me all the feels.  I feel like my life has been a whole lot of valleys and a whole lot of waiting.  Despite all of that....I trust in God's plan for my life. 


God has absolutely blessed me with an amazing kiddos, a wonderful job, a beautiful place to live, food on the table, and all the things my little family needs.  There are still longings and desires of my heart that have yet to be fulfilled, but I continue to pray for them and I KNOW that my God will provide those things in his timing.  Waiting is hard, but waiting is also worth it.


There always seems to be a series of events in my life that lead up to an unexpected answered prayer.  I take steps and leaps of faith towards what I think the "final answer" is.....and it usually is never the final answer.  It's a stepping stone to God's greater plan. 


What the heck am I talking about?  I'll give you an example.....my career.  I left a job a couple years back.  I was there for four years and God opened up a door to a better paying job that also appeared to be a better work environment.  Shew, was I wrong.  I literally remember thinking "God what are you doing?  This is TERRIBLE and I can't do this.".  Eight months later, this "in between job" turned into an open door with a great company.


Without the experience that I had in that short stint at the job that wasn't a good fit, I wouldn't be where I am today.  I work for a company I love, doing a job I love.....all in the city I wanted to end up in.  God knew what he was doing.....but in the process I seriously doubted what he was doing for me.  In the waiting, He works all things out.


I'm not a perfect Christian....none of us are.  There are times I doubt, get angry with God, cry to Him because I don't understand why I'm not where I thought I'd be in life.  In the midst of all of this, I still know He has been and always will be faithful to me.  Learning to be still in the moments of waiting only build on the patience we need to fulfill His work. 

This will be my first tattoo....when I get brave.

We live in a world of instant gratification.   Anything we need to know is right there with us(via means of smart phones), we expect texts back immediately because people are so easily accessible , we can find a partner with the quick swipe of a finger, fast food is a thing(Chik Fil A in under 5 minutes....yes please)....you get my point.  It makes learning to wait so HARD.  I struggle with it myself. 


Praising him in the waiting is what he desires.  We will learn to find peace in His plan for us.  I encourage you to check out Psalm 40.  One of my favorite verses in that chapter is verse 5. 


"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us.  None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare."


If you are in a season of waiting(even if you aren't), check out "Wait and See" by Wendy Pope.   It is a great read and really puts the waiting thing into perspective. 


Are you in a season of waiting?  How do you praise God during this time? Share in the comments! <3






-B


P.S....Over the next little bit, I will be giving my blog a makeover.  I'm pretty stoked about it! Bless this mess as I relearn code to give this puppy a facelift.

#purpose

As per usual.....it's been awhile since I've blogged.....but I'm back for now.  Maybe just for this post? Who knows.....welcome to my life.


Purpose....something I think we all struggle and strive to find in our lives.  I know for me, it's always been a struggle.  I've definitely had purpose as a mother, wife(many years ago....), daughter, friend, student, employee.....etc....but knowing God's purpose for me has been something I have struggled with for years.


We all want to leave out of this world knowing we have accomplished great things, but it seems we are too busy and distracted to do just that. Today, twice, God has been trying to speak to me about listening to Him....and seeking my purpose.  Not just my day to day purpose....but the purpose and plan that He has laid out for me.


I've been a Christian since I was in my preteens.  I have served in church and done "all the things".....but none of them were my purpose.  They were what came easy to me.  I don't think that is God's design for me.  He has given all of us such unique skills, and often times we never ask Him what they are.  I am so guilty of it.


Today in church we talked about God's presence.  The one point that stuck out to me is "In His presence, you will find your purpose."  This hit me hard and made me tear up.  For years I feel like I've just been floating through life "getting through it".  I generally think I am a good person.....but I know I was designed for so much more.


It's hard to think that God would want to use such a broken person.  I mean heck....I've been divorced, had an eating disorder, got pregnant out of marriage, struggled with depression, struggled with sexual immorality, and to use my "go to" quote....I love Jesus, but I curse a little.  What I was reminded of today is that God wants to use the terrible things in our past for His good. I was also reminded to not let Satan hold me captive in my past. 


I think it's in our nature to want to have a purpose in life.  Wanting and doing are two completely different things.  Letting go of fear(fear is a liar...if you didn't know)....and being still and listening to God, will ultimately show us our purpose.  This world needs purpose driven people, changing lives.


That absolutely does not mean we should all go around thumping people over the head with the Bible.  How many times has that worked for us?  We are called to love and serve EVERYONE.  Period.  We are called to live our lives as a light for Him.  I feel like I have such a long way to go to get where I need to be, but at the end of the day, He is meeting me right where I am.


So tonight, my prayer is to find my purpose.  Who am I? Why do I exist? What am I to do?  All questions that I need to seek answers for and pray about.  I need to allow time in my day to truly listen to Him......everyday.  Time to slow down.....and prioritize the things in my life.  I know I was created for more and can not wait to see my story unfold. I pray that you find your purpose as well.  I want to see the world change.....how about you?

#freedom

I know we have all done it and seen it.....putting on that fake smile daily to hide the pain underneath. That is exactly where I was a couple of months ago.  The last four years have not gone how I thought they should go.....and accepting that has been hard.


At this point, I thought I'd be married again with another kiddo.....and have that family.  Be in a job that truly made me happy and just "have my life together", in general.  What does that even mean....having your life together? I can't even answer that question for myself because I painted such a different picture in my head of what life would be right now.


I have been shit on so much over the last 4 years(mostly by guys....thanks for that).....but with each broken relationship and all the pain I faced.....I got through it.  But Lord.....does it wear on ones soul. 


I decided to get back into a therapist, which has been a life changer for me.  Instead of focusing on all the things I feel like I fail at.....I look at all my blessings. God has been so incredibly good to my little family.  We have everything we need, I have wonderful kids, and we are surrounded by phenomenal people.


 I've started exercising....which has made the biggest difference in my life.  I seriously thought I was going to have to go on anti depressants....which isn't what anyone wants. Since I've started my exercise routine, my mood has changed drastically.


The gym has been more than just a "stress reliever" for me.  It has brought back my confidence, brought new, amazing, friends in my life, and made me feel so much better about myself.  Something so small, that I continued to put off, has made a tremendous difference for me.


I was in a place where I was surrounded by people that loved me, yet felt so isolated. I didn't want to get out of bed, I cried almost daily, and I was just a miserable human being.  I am learning to love myself again, which is so damn hard to do sometimes.


No one is perfect and EVERYONE goes through the "finding themselves" phase.....and at different times in life.  It's ok not to be okay sometimes. It really is, but it is not the end and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If someone says they've never struggled in life, quite frankly they are lying.


Divorce is a hard thing.  I still struggle with the aftermath of it.....even four years later.  Something that defined you for years.....isn't that easy to forget.  And finding yourself is a daily task.  New normal isn't always easy....but for me it's been a blessing.

I am thankful that my smile is genuine now.  I am in a good place and I will continue to march forward with my head held high.  God knows the desires of our hearts....and he will fulfill them in His timing.  Until then, I will be happy and continue to live my life and be thankful for everything I have. I truly am living in freedom now.

#epidemic

Based on this picture, I'm sure many of you can guess what this post is going to be about.  It may not be exactly what you think.....but it'll be close.  How many of you have seen this picture pop up on Facebook or even been "victims" of this sad trend? {Raises Hand}

Dating nowadays is complicated......waaaay more complicated than it should be.  Over the past four years since my divorce I have been appalled at how disgusting we treat each other.....all for the sake of "saving face".  I'm going to drop some pretty hard truth bombs in here...so hang on tight.

Ghosting.....this is probably one of the worst ways to treat someone you've been seeing or talking to.  Sadly....this is a huge epidemic in our dating culture.  I've been guilty of it and I've also been the victim of it. And let me tell you...this hurts more than being told that someone "isn't into you" or "me and the ex are getting back together."  Seriously people.....grow a pair and tell someone the TRUTH instead of hiding behind your phone.  You may think it prevents feelings from getting hurt, but I assure you that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Personally,  if you ghost me....I'll take the hint and send a thank you for the good times and I wish you the best text.  This lets the person on the other end of the phone know that I know what they are doing.  Usually don't get a response, but that's ok.  I've called them out in my own nice way. 

If you find yourself ghosting people a lot.....get out of the dating world.  You clearly aren't ready for any kind of emotional investment in ANYONE. If it's too hard for you to be honest with someone when a small amount of emotional investment is there....you definitely aren't ready for a full commitment to anyone.  You have to be able to be honest with someone at a basic level....even if it's uncomfortable. Do some soul searching and treat others the way you would want to be treated.

With the trend of Tinder, Bumble, POF.....pick your poison....it seems so easy for people to just move right along to their next victim.  No one truly takes the time or puts in the effort to get to know someone.  The second anyone catches feels....they run.  Why? I'll never know.  It is OKAY to have feelings for someone, it's ok to like someone.....it's not okay to play the field and collect your "jar of hearts" along the way.

We were less cowardly in high school and middle school.  Remember the "check yes or no" letters...or just telling someone "no" when they asked you out.  Social media and texting have completely stripped us of our ability to "emote" the way we need to.  Back then you couldn't just "avoid" someone and get away with it.  Treat each person you are talking to like you are looking them in the face and like they are a real human being with feelings.

The grass isn't always greener.  Those who continue to drop people and move right along to the next person without any regard to the feelings of the original person are trying to fill a void or hole inside of themselves.  If you've been ghosted, you aren't the one with the deficiency....the other person is.  Think about this.....would you really want to be with someone that can't properly express their emotions?  What does this say about their character? They run when things get hard or get intense.  You do NOT want this for any period of time. 

We all deserve someone that gives us the attention we need.  There shouldn't be begging or games.  No one should have to wait by their phone for hours to see if their man will text back.  Cut the crap and don't play the games.  If you like someone, communicate freely with them.  That absolutely does not make you crazy.  This wait "3 days before texting" or "wait a couple hours to text them back" is a bunch of BS.  We create these stupid rules....for what?  Because we are afraid to actually like someone? Because we don't want to be seen as needy?

I assure you....texting or talking on the phone with someone without rules does not make you look needy.  That being said.....sending someone 20 texts in a row....yeah...that's needy.  But texting or calling someone on a regular basis is not needy at all.

God has a plan for all of us. But we have to be ready and we also have to be willing to recognize a toxic situation and leave.  If they play games with you....I assure you....they are not the one.  If they string you along....I assure you....they are not the one.  Like I said before, if you are the perpetrator of treating others in the dating world like crap.....take a break.  You just aren't ready. 

I'm going to hop off of my soap box for now.  I am tired of seeing my friends get hurt and I am tired of being hurt as well.  Be the change....act like a gentleman or lady and this dating world will be a much better place. 



#friendshipgoals

I'm in a state of reflection and awe tonight at the amazing people God has led into my life.  Definitely emotional as I sit back and think about the absolutely amazing friends I have in my life.  It is so easy to take these people for granted, but I am reminded constantly about how truly blessed I am.




I am a very introverted person by nature.  It takes a lot for me(maybe even a couple beers) for me to really carry on a conversation with a new person.  Making friends hasn't always been so easy for me.  Once that connection is there, it's amazing how your relationship with another person blossoms.




Being a momma(and a single one at that) makes it very difficult for me to find the time to see my friends as much as I want to.  But my core group gets it.  They don't get mad at me when I can't come see them.....they patiently wait until we can go on our next adventure. Not all my friends are parents either....I have several single friends that respect my time and motherhood.....and that love my children like their own.




Each friendship is so uniquely different....but what we both need. I have my 2am "ditch" friend, my 3am "I found out my SO is cheating on me and I can't sleep so let's go to Waffle House friend", my friends I call when I'm having relationship trouble or need advice, my mom/playdate friends, my very logical friends(who have talked me off a few ledges), my friend that texts me "Good Morning"(every single day...which means the world to me), and my friends I only see from time to time....but we pick right back up where we left off. 




Being a single mom can be lonely....I won't lie.  But each friend I have makes the loneliness easier and are so vital to my life. I know I always have someone there for me when I need them. With each season of life, friends come and go....and the ones that have stayed throug each season with me...you are amazing.




All of my friends care so much for my children as well.   My children adore each and every one of my friends.  They are included in plans....and we even go on trips with them sometimes.  My children having these positive influences in their life is so important to me, and I am forever grateful for the impact my tribe has on my littles.




These people have helped mold me into the woman I am today....and I can not thank them enough.  The imprint you all have made on my life is incredible and you will forever be my people.  Thank you for all you do.....love ya'll!

#Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed....such a big word we use on the daily.  Most of the time it has a very negative connotation. I know as a single mom I feel overwhelmed every day. Being a momma, working, house work, and just life in general can cause us to carry a huge burden.

The definition I'm hanging onto for overwhelmed is "to overcome completely in mind or feeling."  God has really overwhelmed me with love and blessings over the last couple of months.  It has been so easy for me to get down.....between a terrible breakup, crazy work/life balance, and now a car wreck I have been overwhelmed with stress and the feeling that my life is never going to be "together.".


I got asked this week what it would look like if my life was together.  I couldn't answer because I don't even know.  Which really was eye opening.....craving something that you don't have a definition or expectation for.  In that moment, I was hit by an overwhelming sense of how BLESSED I truly am.

My kids....I could go on for DAYS about how incredible they are.  They are the light of my life and my joy.  That doesn't mean there aren't days they stress me out with the fighting or inevitable whining....but knowing their unconditional love for me just overwhelms me with joy.  It is amazing how these two little people can love such a "broken" person.  I am their momma and they know I'm here for them....and even in the hard moments they know my love for them is overflowing.


My family.....through every storm I have weathered they have been there.  It doesn't matter how many times I have fallen or disappointed them....they love me through it all.  I grew up in an amazing home with amazing parents.  My siblings are the absolute best.  From the help they give me with my kids when I am in a bind....to the solid advice my parents have....I am overwhelmed with the sense of love and security they give me.

My friends....since my divorce I have had to find my new tribe.  Let me tell you....that was not easy. I am an introvert to boot....and actually befriending someone was sooooo hard on me.  Some of come and gone.....but my group that has stayed around in my crazy life are priceless.  I know I can call them for anything and they have brought so much joy in my life and my kids life.  Some of them have kids....some don't.  The ones that don't, love on my kids like they are their own. (Note.....these are just a small portion of my friends.....if you aren't pictured please don't think I don't still love you! lol)

My goal right now is to focus on the positive. Life brings everyone storms and hardships....but if we really take a step back and look......we are all blessed.  God takes care of our every need(Matthew 6:25-34), mends our broken hearts(Psalm 147:3), and takes some of the load off our backs(Matthew 11:28-30). 


I know in my life He has beyond gracious in my brokenness.  I am will continue to be overwhelmed with His love and blessings in my life.  Doesn't mean I won't get down from time to time.....but I will continue to make it a priority to focus on the positive and win at this thing called life.

Cowboy Casanova

Ya'll know I generally have no issue putting my business out there....some of you may laugh, some watch and cringe, some judge.....but at the end of the day....I am who I am....and I share. I share in the hopes of helping someone else who has been through....or may start going through the things I have been through. I share and write to talk myself through situations.  It is what it is.


With that being said....onto the meat and potatoes of this post.......

He's a good time cowboy Casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
You better run for your life

Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova" perfectly describes my last long term relationship.  I am finally on the other side of that one....and it was a HOT mess.  Some of you watched it fall apart, some of you cheered me on.....and some of you literally watched me get back with this man numerous times and some of you felt my pain through the entire journey.

Point blank, I gave my heart and time to someone who didn't deserve me. I ignored EVERY gut instinct in me to run.....but I didn't.  I ignored every person that told me to stay away or end it. Why? I honestly don't even know. I wish I did.  He was charming and  I loved him.  It wasn't until I found out for sure that he was being unfaithful....that I finally was able to let go.

I will never understand how someone can look you in the face and tell you a bold face lie....even with the facts laid out in front of them.  That's when I knew I had to run. No one should allow someone else to make them feel crazy or that their feelings are not validated. You have feelings and a gut instinct for a reason.....and you need to listen to them.

Ladies, you are worth so much more than what you think.  A man should value you and respect you....period.  Don't put up the games, lies, manipulation, body shaming, disrespect.....etc.  That is not what God wants for us. Obviously I am guilty of allowing someone to treat me like that.....but out of this situation I am stronger....and I will have what God designed for me one day and so will you.

Stand up for what you want....don't settle for someone who doesn't give you the love and attention you deserve. Guard your heart and take things slow.

I had my final conversation with this man tonight.....and confirmation that my eyes are open to what he's done and that I am strong enough to stay away.  I have yet to get a sincere apology from him for what he did. I was even asked to apologize to him because I made him mad when I reacted to finding out he had cheated.  Do NOT apologize for your reaction to THEIR bad behavior(thank you for that quote...you know who you are).   I have forgiven him and moved on. And you know what....I'm okay with the fact that he hasn't apologize.  I realize it's a deep rooted issue inside of HIM and not me.

Dating is HARD and all of us single ladies know the struggle.  Don't just be with someone to have someone.  Wait.....and Lord knows I'm just about the most impatient person around..  Be still and know that God has this and will lead the right man into your life  Love on your kids(if you have them), go out with your friends, start a new hobby, find yourself.....just enjoy life. 

We all have so much to be thankful for.....and today I am thankful for tough lessons.  I am thankful for my stubbornness....I don't always do it the easy way.  God has brought me through so much pain....but I come out stronger on the other side each and every time. Love yourself, ladies.  One day....your prince will come.

#metoo

I sit here....with a lot of anxiety....scared to share my story.  My Facebook feed has been flooded with "me too" this week....and it's been completely overwhelming.  I made a conscious decision not to make that a status on my Facebook page.  The shame and guilt is still very real 14 years later.


And then God decided that in church today, I needed to hear a message related to #metoo.  He definitely brought to the surface the struggle I still face with the sexual abuse I endured when I was just 15....by a stranger.  I don't think about it as often as I used to, but the pain is still there in the back of my mind. 


I was the woman in church that wanted to walk up and leave.....but PJ encouraged those of us that were "triggered" to stay.  So I stayed.  I was also the girl that knew she needed prayer this morning....but was too scared to get up and go. I hid my tears from the world....but the second I got in my car, they came pouring down my face.


Now I sit here writing a blog post....that I am going to share with what seems to be the world.  I have literally been overwhelmed with "share" in my head all day.  And I feel like I am supposed to share my story, my struggle, and my triumph over this beast.


My closest friends and family know my story.  But not everyone does.  I don't keep it a secret, but it's also not something I blast to the world....until today.  I am hoping God can use my testimony to help someone else that has been through the pain  I have endured.  It's crazy how one evil act can completely wreck your life.


When I was 15 I was molested on a school trip by a stranger.  My innocence was completely taken and I felt so much shame and guilt. I had to face him just hours after it happened at a dance....and it ruined my entire night.  A trip that was earned and that I worked hard for was completely destroyed by one man. That is what I think back to when I think of this trip....not the fact that me and my friend won Nationals...not that fact that Chicago is an amazing city.  I think of him. 


I don't know his name and he was never found.  But I remember his face clear as day.  I will never forget it. He took away my innocence, he took away my self worth....it felt like he took away everything from me.


I didn't tell anyone until we got home and I will never forget my dad holding my while I bawled my eyes out on our back porch.  My parents were amazing through the whole process.  I had to write a letter to the organization about what happened, had to share what happened with the chaperone, and had to relive it all again just days after it happened.  That was so hard.


My parents encouraged me to go talk to a therapist, but I refused because I thought I was "ok". But I was not.  Just a few short months later I developed an eating disorder.  This was my release for the pain that I felt inside. I dealt with my eating disorder in the shadows for 8 years before I finally got help. My behavior at home also shifted.  I was very hard on my parents and started becoming rebellious. 


Before this happened to me I had started a journal to mgy future husband.  Innocent, naïve and beautiful.  I stopped writing in it after I was assaulted because I was ashamed.  I felt like no one could love me or accept me after that.  What I was supposed to give to him was gone. 


I also stopped going to church after I left my parents house.  I felt like I was "forced" to go after that and I was so very angry with God.  How could he let this happen to me? Why me? I questioned his love for me.



Those were some of the darkest times of my life.  I was "wild" in college....proving that if anyone was going to touch me it was my choice.  I went down a very dark road. I also struggled with depression. 


The turning point for me was when I finally got help.  It took me over 6 months to tell my therapist about what happened to me.  I was just there for my eating disorder, so I thought.  And finally one day it came out.....and she told me she had been waiting for me to tell her about that.  I didn't even realize that my eating disorder and the abuse I endured went hand in hand.


She had me write a letter to my abuser.  I had to tell him how he made me felt, how he had affected my life....etc.  I had no idea the impact that had on my life until I finished my six page letter(front and back) to him. That was the moment I realized it wasn't my fault....and I finally felt relief.  And I forgave this man.


What happened to me still affects me in my relationships.  I don't trust like I should, I haven't always picked the best guys because I didn't feel worthy of someone amazing, and I get triggered very easily and pull away.


The worst thing that has happened to me was something I have been able to use to help others.  I've met so many men and women that have been through what I've been through.  I've been able to connect with them and be their support.


This world we live in is so scary. But something I learned this morning....it's been like that since the beginning of time.  Our lack of respect for each other has got to stop.  Objectification of women has to stop.  We are treasures to be won....not toys for someone's pleasure. 


14 years later, I am okay.  I am soooo much stronger than what I used to be and God is an active part of my life.  This morning made me feel not so alone in my struggle.  I don't let my abuser define me anymore.

Please know that you are not alone in your struggle.  You are not alone in the pain and you can overcome.  You are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are a child of God.  Hold tight to that and Him.  I loved the quote from church this morning "you are a fierce love." We are a force to be reckoned with.  God has great and big things planned for you.  Don't let anyone else, but Him define you.

-B

It Takes a Village

Being a mother is the most rewarding and challenging thing I have ever done.  I think most of you moms can agree with that statement.  It has it's ups and downs and brings incredible joy to our lives.

I have been a single mom for a little over three years now.  And let me tell you....it's been my biggest challenge yet. Raising little people...especially primarily on your own...isn't as easy as it sounds.

I am very thankful that my kids father and step mother are involved in their lives.  I can't imagine what my kids lives would be like without them.  One of the huge blessings that came out of a rough situation.  There was a time when the co-parenting relationship wasn't the best.  It's taken a lot of work and patience to get to where we are.  I can say that both sides are proud of that.  Remember.....it's about the kids and not you.

As a single mom I struggle....a lot.  Juggling extracurricular activities, homework, baths, work, and just trying to balance life in general can take a toll.  There are days I wonder how I get it all done....and most of the time I don't know how I did.   When there is only one of you....managing all of that can be so overwhelming. 

I have made it this far by the grace of God....no joke.  He has been a huge part in helping me keep it all together....and helping me not fall to pieces on the hard days.  Without Him I would be sooooo lost.  He has intervened in so many situations in our lives and opened doors I couldn't have imagined possible. 

My family has also played a huge role in keeping me sane.  There have been many phone calls to my momma on a bad day(most of the time crying)....and I can just vent and get her advice.  She raised seven kids....her advice is pretty sound.  They have also helped me juggle some of the crazy scheduling that I have going on. 

My friends are seriously some of the best people you will ever meet....for real.  They have been there with me through some really challenging times in my life....and keep me uplifted and happy.  Without them....I would be so incredibly lost. Everyone needs a core group of momma friends to get them through life.

I have some incredible kids and it just blows my mind that I've been a momma to them for almost a decade(yes....I'm telling my age lol). They are smart, sweet, understanding, and can make the stress of a bad day go away with one hug or "I love you". It's hard to believe that I have a hand in who they have become....because they are AMAZING.

Single mom life ain't easy....but I'm making it one day at a time. And if you are a single mom....remember...you ARE good enough, you are strong enough, and you are amazing. Sometimes it's hard to forget those things.....but they all ring true.  Your kids love you and don't see the flaws you feel like you have.  Keep calm and single mom on!




P.S. Don't forget about the discount and giveaway from Pretty Little Primitives!  Go here to check it out....ends tomorrow night!  Hurry before it ends!

Fashion Friday.....on Saturday

So I thought I was going to be super clever and make a "Fashion Friday" post yesterday.....obviously that did not happen and it is now Saturday.  Sooooo yeah....totally slacking.

I am not the most fashionable person on the planet....but I try.  I am always looking for something unique, cheap, cute, and comfortable.  I am your jeans and t-shirt kinda gal.  I am also a huge supporter of local businesses.

My friends over at Pretty Little Primitives have been my absolute favorite place to get my shirts the last few months.  I personally know these girls and love them dearly!  They have some great designs and have actually taken designs I've given them and created something for me.

How cute is my daughter in her "red head" shirt? 

Their shirts are absolutely adorable and so comfortable.  Definitely fits my jeans and t-shirt taste.  They also make monogrammed earrings....which I haven't gotten my hands on yet(I may or may not have gotten my ear pierced a few weeks ago....at the ripe ol' age of 28.  Can't wear anything until these puppies heal. But that's a story for another day).  But let me tell you....they are adorable.

They make clothing for kids and adults.  Did you see how adorable my baby girl was in her shirt? They are definitely a one stop shop!  

And guess what!?!? They want to give my blog readers a DISCOUNT on their order and GIVEAWAY a shirt to one lucky blog reader! How awesome is that? 

For all of you that are still hitting the gym. This one was a design I sent them....and they created! My friends and I all own one now. 

Here's how the discount works....pick what you like on their website here and shoot them a message. Mention code "lilredtrio" when ordering...and boom....you get 10% off your order.  This code expires on Wednesday, so hurry before it's gone! 

Onto the giveaway!  One lucky reader will win the "Less Judgey More Lovey" shirt(and it doesn't have to be purple..you choose).  I personally own one and love the message it has behind it!

Here's how to enter:

1.  You must "like" Pretty Little Primitives on Facebook. 

2.  Pick out your favorite thing from their Facebook page and tell me what it is! 

3.  Fill out the form here to enter. 

Pretty simple huh?  

Want extra entries?  Here's how to give yourself an even better chance of winning:

-Share this blog post with your friends on Facebook(make sure you comment to let me know you've done so) 3 extra entries.

Good luck to everyone and enjoy the sweet discount! 

Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

This classic phrase has been around for many years and I'm sure most of you have heard it at some point in your life. This is what we heard as kids when people bullied us and said hurtful things.  You know what? This phrase is completely bogus. 

Proverbs 12:18

Words DO hurt and stick with us for a long time. Gossip and hurtful words are even mentioned in the Bible(Proverbs 20:19). "Mean girls" are an epidemic in our society.  We have all been victims of it and many of us have been "mean girls"(me included). 

I really feel like it has been laid on my heart to talk about this topic today. I myself have been a victim to gossip and "backstabbing" lately.....and I've also been a "mean girl." Over the last couple of weeks a few things have shown me that God is really trying to speak to me on this topic. 

Did you know that even in Biblical times there was gossip and "mean" girls?  I learned about this from Pastor Joe(who is awesome...if you didn't know that already).  Go back to the story of the woman at the well(John 4).  She had been married five times and was living with someone outside of marriage. Imagine doing that back in Biblical days....she was probably shunned like no other. 

She was at the well by herself around lunch time.  Typically, women came to the well early in the morning.  She didn't because she would have been talked about and those women would have said ugly things to her.  I don't blame her for avoiding that. 

You know what? Jesus STILL talked to her and loves her.  Regardless of her past, he wanted her to know that he was the only water she would ever need....she would never thirst again.  He paid attention to her....which is huge. 

Often times, the whispers behind our backs, are the insecurities in our heads.  This feeds those insecurities and makes us question our worth. We start thinking "Maybe I'm not good enough," "I'm ugly," "Why don't people like me?", "I'm a bad mom", "I'm fat".....etc.  You get the point.  

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Adorabelles 

We have no idea what someone is going through in life.  That girl that comes to Walmart in pajamas....maybe, just maybe she's a stay at home momma that just needed to get out of the house for a few minutes.  That girl with the crazy hair...she likes to express herself and it makes her feel good.  That woman you call a "ho".....maybe she's been abused in her past and she is sincerely looking for love and doesn't know how to find it.  That girl you called fat....maybe she is struggling with an eating disorder.  My point is....you just never know.  

Less Judgey More Lovey(Shout out to my girls at Pretty Little Primitives) 

How do we stop this craziness?  LOVE!  Stop judging people, stop talking about people, and LOVE people.  That girl at the office you can't stand.....invite her to lunch one day.  That neighbor that drives you crazy....bring them cookies and a smile.  Tell someone they look beautiful....someone you don't normally talk to.  

We have to stop going behind each other's backs and whispering lies.  We are stronger women when we stick together and are loyal to each other.  We are called to love.....so let's start doing it. And remember this:

My challenge to you is to step out of your comfort zone and love on somebody that you've maybe not been so kind to.  I'm in on this challenge too!   Who's with me? 

Not Your Momma's #MCM

So this post may not be what you think it is......this is a little story about my darling little Reese Cup.

See how adorable?

We have an established rule in this household that my kids are not allowed to date until they are married(for real....that should be the standing rule for kids everywhere).  Of course, in typical brotherly/sisterly "love"....they relentlessly tease the other one about have a boyfriend or girlfriend(the struggle is real, ya'll).  I've also been assured by Reese that if I get her a cell phone, she won't text boys.  HELLO....you're seven lol....you won't be getting a cell phone anyways.  

Anyways....let's get this story started....

Last week Reese asked me to help her download White Tiles on her phone(and if you must know, I won every time we played. Probably shouldn't be proud of that).  I tried to get into her iPad and she had changed the passcode.  I asked her what it was.....and instantly, the look of guilt came across her face.  She was silent for a few seconds....so I asked her again.  

She reluctantly started spelling out B-O-O-N-E.  Wait, WHAT? That is a BOYS name.  I called her our pretty quickly and her cheeks turned bright red and she wouldn't look me in the eye.  When questioned as to why her iPad passcode was a boy's name....she said "I don't know". (typical kid go to phrase), 

I told her we had to call her daddy so she could talk to him(co-parenting win).  We got him on the phone.....and in his usual wit....he had me laughing when I really shouldn't have.  He told her that there are two things that a seven year old should worry about.  He asked her what she thought those two things were....once again we got the typical "I don't know". 

He told her since she didn't know, he would tell her.  One.....get smart, get an education, do good in school.  Two....stay out of trouble.  He asked her how she would stay out of trouble....to which she responded "I won't change my iPad passcode to boys names."  At this point it was obvious I was holding in a laugh and she looked at me and grinned. 

She immediately changed her passcode back and learned a very valuable lesson.  I, however, am still in shock that my SEVEN  YEAR OLD, likes boys.  I didn't even have my first crush until I was in fifth grade.  Seriously....boys still have cooties....even at my age.  We are going to have our hands full with this one.  

So yeah....that happened.  It is still pretty funny, but I am so not ready for this!  Lord help us all! 

What do you think the appropriate age for kids to date is? What do you think the appropriate age for kids to have cell phones is?  Comment below and share with me!

Proverbs 22:6 

Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. 

When the Kids are Away....Momma will Play

Happy Sunday!


The kiddos were with their daddy this weekend, so mom got some much needed fun and REST in.  The weekend turned out to be amazing and adventurous(despite the cold).

Date Night

We clean up pretty good...if I do say so myself.

 

 

We got all dressed up Friday night to go out.  We knew that we wanted to go Henry Clay's Public House to watch some good music.....but we had the typical "where are we going to eat debate."  Luckily(or unfortunately) neither one of us is too picky.  Deciding on a place to eat is always a long discussion(please tell me we aren't the only ones....).  We finally decided to just drive into Lexington and see what was downtown. 

 

Best.Decision.Ever.

 

 

We ended up at Carson's Food and Drink.   We were not disappointed.  GREAT atmosphere and food.  We had the grilled brie for our appetizer.  I ended up getting the pulled pork sandwich and chipotle sweet potatoes.  Best pulled pork I've had in a long time....and it had bacon on it.  Can't ever go wrong with bacon.  He got the shaved prime rib sandwich....which was to die for.



My meal...I seriously need to invest in a good camera.

 

 

Henry Clay's Public House was a great little bar.  Very chill and relaxing.....and you get FREE popcorn.  The beer they had their definitely took care of my "beer snob" tastes.  Don't get me wrong....I'll drink Bud Light...but I definitely prefer a richer, heartier beer.  Beer of choice there was Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale.

 

 

 

 

We Stuck

 

Saturday morning we got up bright and early to go four wheeling.  Note that this was my first MAJOR four wheeling experience(pitiful, I know). I was excited and looked forward to going down to Townsend Caves(I think I spelled that correctly?). 

 

We loaded up in the jeep and went on our way. We got to the trail(or road?) that led us to the cave and it was pretty muddy....and rutted out.  We thought we could make it all the way through....let's just say that didn't happen.

 

 

The story he THINKS I'm going to tell in 10 years is this......it was 20 below zero, 10 feet of snow on the ground, we had to walk 16 miles for help, and I lost a finger due to frost bite.  Maybe that is the story I will tell later on in life(just like men and their "big fish" stories).  But here's what  really happened.....

 

 

It was about 40 degrees, windy, and a little overcast. We made it about a quarter mile away from our final destination and came up on a HUGE ditch.  He swore we could make it through(I didn't doubt him at all ;))....and after many attempts and literally going sideways through this ditch(pictured)....we made it. The next obstacle was even worse. 


 

 

There were three large rocks that we had to navigate around and over....while getting through some major mud.  After about 20 attempts, log lifting(him...not me), unintentionally showing off some yoga moves I didn't know I had(may or may not have slid in the mud) and me finally giving in to pee behind a tree(I am officially country now)......we gave up and started walking.

 

Neither one of us had cell phone service until about a mile up the road....and my phone died when I finally did get service because of the cold.  He called/texted a buddy who was going to come and get us.  We continued to walk at least another mile up "toilet bowl lane" until we reached the main road.

 

The second we got to the main road two trucks, that were loaded down with razors, came driving by.  Seriously could not have been more perfect timing. They had to go up the road and unload and they agreed to come back and help us.

 

They drove us back to the jeep.  Two razors, some laughter, and a lot of mud slingin' later....the jeep was out.  I know there are some videos of this out in the universe because a couple girls shot the whole thing on their phones.  I am hoping to get ahold of the footage....and laugh again.

 

After this, both of us were EXHAUSTED and cold.  We headed back into town, got the best pizza rolls around(you Irvinities know what I'm talking about), turned on the UK game....and took a nap. The excitement of yesterday still has me pretty worn out.   

 

 

 

The Rest of the Weekend....

 

 

The remaining part of my weekend was pretty calm.  Saturday night I went to my parents house to celebrate two of my siblings birthdays....and also the fact that my baby brother is FINALLY  home from being deployed(PTL!).  We had our traditional Christmas meal...curry.  I could probably do a whole post just on how amazing that is.  He opened presents and we had cake.

 

Learned that my grandfather(who has dementia...important factor in this)....doesn't like Japanese food because he thinks they poison our food.  And when asked why...he said "they are mad they lost the war." (oy vey...and a little hilarious).

 

Today was a relaxing Sunday.  I got to play with the babies in the nursery at the church(my favorite!).  Not sure if that fixes my "baby fix" or just makes me want to have more (yikes lol). And then I got to attend our second service...where Pastor Joe did not disappoint in his message.  He is uncensored and will tell you like it is....and we all need a little bit of that. 

 

I grocery shopped today...which isn't really even blog worthy....just reality.  Watched a little Nascar(Daytona 500 anyone?) and cleaned house.  My babies are now back home and sleeping peacefully in their beds....and I will be heading that way soon myself.

 

 

Y'all do anything fun this weekend?  Tell me about some of your crazy adventures in the comments below! I'd love to hear you share your stories too!

 

 

John 14:6



I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 

My Crew and I

Welcome to my new blog! For those of you that don't know me my name is Bonnie.  Here are a few factoids about me:

-I am a single momma to two adorable ginger babies.

Pretty handsome! 

Lil' Sassy 

-I love Jesus

-I was a coupon blogger back in the day

-My hair isn't naturally red(secrets out....my kids out me on that all the time) 

Natural 

Not so much...

-I have the absolute best friends a girl could ask for! 

-I am a scatter brain....the struggle is real! 

-I'm a texting pro! 

-Makeup junkie.....legit.  

Still trying to decide if this was a good decision or not 

So what exactly am I going to blog about?  I really haven't decided....there will be lots of day to day posts, mom struggles, mom wins, inspirational posts and whatever else my scatter brain decides to spit out.  

I have always loved writing.  It is the easiest way to express myself. I hope you join me on this new adventure. I get a lot of joy from writing and sharing with others. I also try to be a positive light and hope to encourage those around me. 

I hope you stick around to see what my crazy crew and I are up to! 

And if anyone knows how to add emojis to blog posts....please comment!  I am lost without them!