#epidemic

Based on this picture, I'm sure many of you can guess what this post is going to be about.  It may not be exactly what you think.....but it'll be close.  How many of you have seen this picture pop up on Facebook or even been "victims" of this sad trend? {Raises Hand}

Dating nowadays is complicated......waaaay more complicated than it should be.  Over the past four years since my divorce I have been appalled at how disgusting we treat each other.....all for the sake of "saving face".  I'm going to drop some pretty hard truth bombs in here...so hang on tight.

Ghosting.....this is probably one of the worst ways to treat someone you've been seeing or talking to.  Sadly....this is a huge epidemic in our dating culture.  I've been guilty of it and I've also been the victim of it. And let me tell you...this hurts more than being told that someone "isn't into you" or "me and the ex are getting back together."  Seriously people.....grow a pair and tell someone the TRUTH instead of hiding behind your phone.  You may think it prevents feelings from getting hurt, but I assure you that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Personally,  if you ghost me....I'll take the hint and send a thank you for the good times and I wish you the best text.  This lets the person on the other end of the phone know that I know what they are doing.  Usually don't get a response, but that's ok.  I've called them out in my own nice way. 

If you find yourself ghosting people a lot.....get out of the dating world.  You clearly aren't ready for any kind of emotional investment in ANYONE. If it's too hard for you to be honest with someone when a small amount of emotional investment is there....you definitely aren't ready for a full commitment to anyone.  You have to be able to be honest with someone at a basic level....even if it's uncomfortable. Do some soul searching and treat others the way you would want to be treated.

With the trend of Tinder, Bumble, POF.....pick your poison....it seems so easy for people to just move right along to their next victim.  No one truly takes the time or puts in the effort to get to know someone.  The second anyone catches feels....they run.  Why? I'll never know.  It is OKAY to have feelings for someone, it's ok to like someone.....it's not okay to play the field and collect your "jar of hearts" along the way.

We were less cowardly in high school and middle school.  Remember the "check yes or no" letters...or just telling someone "no" when they asked you out.  Social media and texting have completely stripped us of our ability to "emote" the way we need to.  Back then you couldn't just "avoid" someone and get away with it.  Treat each person you are talking to like you are looking them in the face and like they are a real human being with feelings.

The grass isn't always greener.  Those who continue to drop people and move right along to the next person without any regard to the feelings of the original person are trying to fill a void or hole inside of themselves.  If you've been ghosted, you aren't the one with the deficiency....the other person is.  Think about this.....would you really want to be with someone that can't properly express their emotions?  What does this say about their character? They run when things get hard or get intense.  You do NOT want this for any period of time. 

We all deserve someone that gives us the attention we need.  There shouldn't be begging or games.  No one should have to wait by their phone for hours to see if their man will text back.  Cut the crap and don't play the games.  If you like someone, communicate freely with them.  That absolutely does not make you crazy.  This wait "3 days before texting" or "wait a couple hours to text them back" is a bunch of BS.  We create these stupid rules....for what?  Because we are afraid to actually like someone? Because we don't want to be seen as needy?

I assure you....texting or talking on the phone with someone without rules does not make you look needy.  That being said.....sending someone 20 texts in a row....yeah...that's needy.  But texting or calling someone on a regular basis is not needy at all.

God has a plan for all of us. But we have to be ready and we also have to be willing to recognize a toxic situation and leave.  If they play games with you....I assure you....they are not the one.  If they string you along....I assure you....they are not the one.  Like I said before, if you are the perpetrator of treating others in the dating world like crap.....take a break.  You just aren't ready. 

I'm going to hop off of my soap box for now.  I am tired of seeing my friends get hurt and I am tired of being hurt as well.  Be the change....act like a gentleman or lady and this dating world will be a much better place.