Cowboy Casanova

Ya'll know I generally have no issue putting my business out there....some of you may laugh, some watch and cringe, some judge.....but at the end of the day....I am who I am....and I share. I share in the hopes of helping someone else who has been through....or may start going through the things I have been through. I share and write to talk myself through situations.  It is what it is.


With that being said....onto the meat and potatoes of this post.......

He's a good time cowboy Casanova
Leaning up against the record machine
He looks like a cool drink of water
But he's candy-coated misery
He's the devil in disguise
A snake with blue eyes
And he only comes out at night
Gives you feelings that you don't wanna fight
You better run for your life

Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova" perfectly describes my last long term relationship.  I am finally on the other side of that one....and it was a HOT mess.  Some of you watched it fall apart, some of you cheered me on.....and some of you literally watched me get back with this man numerous times and some of you felt my pain through the entire journey.

Point blank, I gave my heart and time to someone who didn't deserve me. I ignored EVERY gut instinct in me to run.....but I didn't.  I ignored every person that told me to stay away or end it. Why? I honestly don't even know. I wish I did.  He was charming and  I loved him.  It wasn't until I found out for sure that he was being unfaithful....that I finally was able to let go.

I will never understand how someone can look you in the face and tell you a bold face lie....even with the facts laid out in front of them.  That's when I knew I had to run. No one should allow someone else to make them feel crazy or that their feelings are not validated. You have feelings and a gut instinct for a reason.....and you need to listen to them.

Ladies, you are worth so much more than what you think.  A man should value you and respect you....period.  Don't put up the games, lies, manipulation, body shaming, disrespect.....etc.  That is not what God wants for us. Obviously I am guilty of allowing someone to treat me like that.....but out of this situation I am stronger....and I will have what God designed for me one day and so will you.

Stand up for what you want....don't settle for someone who doesn't give you the love and attention you deserve. Guard your heart and take things slow.

I had my final conversation with this man tonight.....and confirmation that my eyes are open to what he's done and that I am strong enough to stay away.  I have yet to get a sincere apology from him for what he did. I was even asked to apologize to him because I made him mad when I reacted to finding out he had cheated.  Do NOT apologize for your reaction to THEIR bad behavior(thank you for that quote...you know who you are).   I have forgiven him and moved on. And you know what....I'm okay with the fact that he hasn't apologize.  I realize it's a deep rooted issue inside of HIM and not me.

Dating is HARD and all of us single ladies know the struggle.  Don't just be with someone to have someone.  Wait.....and Lord knows I'm just about the most impatient person around..  Be still and know that God has this and will lead the right man into your life  Love on your kids(if you have them), go out with your friends, start a new hobby, find yourself.....just enjoy life. 

We all have so much to be thankful for.....and today I am thankful for tough lessons.  I am thankful for my stubbornness....I don't always do it the easy way.  God has brought me through so much pain....but I come out stronger on the other side each and every time. Love yourself, ladies.  One day....your prince will come.