I know we have all done it and seen it.....putting on that fake smile daily to hide the pain underneath. That is exactly where I was a couple of months ago. The last four years have not gone how I thought they should go.....and accepting that has been hard.
At this point, I thought I'd be married again with another kiddo.....and have that family. Be in a job that truly made me happy and just "have my life together", in general. What does that even mean....having your life together? I can't even answer that question for myself because I painted such a different picture in my head of what life would be right now.
I have been shit on so much over the last 4 years(mostly by guys....thanks for that).....but with each broken relationship and all the pain I faced.....I got through it. But Lord.....does it wear on ones soul.
I decided to get back into a therapist, which has been a life changer for me. Instead of focusing on all the things I feel like I fail at.....I look at all my blessings. God has been so incredibly good to my little family. We have everything we need, I have wonderful kids, and we are surrounded by phenomenal people.
I've started exercising....which has made the biggest difference in my life. I seriously thought I was going to have to go on anti depressants....which isn't what anyone wants. Since I've started my exercise routine, my mood has changed drastically.
The gym has been more than just a "stress reliever" for me. It has brought back my confidence, brought new, amazing, friends in my life, and made me feel so much better about myself. Something so small, that I continued to put off, has made a tremendous difference for me.
I was in a place where I was surrounded by people that loved me, yet felt so isolated. I didn't want to get out of bed, I cried almost daily, and I was just a miserable human being. I am learning to love myself again, which is so damn hard to do sometimes.
No one is perfect and EVERYONE goes through the "finding themselves" phase.....and at different times in life. It's ok not to be okay sometimes. It really is, but it is not the end and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If someone says they've never struggled in life, quite frankly they are lying.
Divorce is a hard thing. I still struggle with the aftermath of it.....even four years later. Something that defined you for years.....isn't that easy to forget. And finding yourself is a daily task. New normal isn't always easy....but for me it's been a blessing.
I am thankful that my smile is genuine now. I am in a good place and I will continue to march forward with my head held high. God knows the desires of our hearts....and he will fulfill them in His timing. Until then, I will be happy and continue to live my life and be thankful for everything I have. I truly am living in freedom now.
At this point, I thought I'd be married again with another kiddo.....and have that family. Be in a job that truly made me happy and just "have my life together", in general. What does that even mean....having your life together? I can't even answer that question for myself because I painted such a different picture in my head of what life would be right now.
I have been shit on so much over the last 4 years(mostly by guys....thanks for that).....but with each broken relationship and all the pain I faced.....I got through it. But Lord.....does it wear on ones soul.
I decided to get back into a therapist, which has been a life changer for me. Instead of focusing on all the things I feel like I fail at.....I look at all my blessings. God has been so incredibly good to my little family. We have everything we need, I have wonderful kids, and we are surrounded by phenomenal people.
I've started exercising....which has made the biggest difference in my life. I seriously thought I was going to have to go on anti depressants....which isn't what anyone wants. Since I've started my exercise routine, my mood has changed drastically.
The gym has been more than just a "stress reliever" for me. It has brought back my confidence, brought new, amazing, friends in my life, and made me feel so much better about myself. Something so small, that I continued to put off, has made a tremendous difference for me.
I was in a place where I was surrounded by people that loved me, yet felt so isolated. I didn't want to get out of bed, I cried almost daily, and I was just a miserable human being. I am learning to love myself again, which is so damn hard to do sometimes.
No one is perfect and EVERYONE goes through the "finding themselves" phase.....and at different times in life. It's ok not to be okay sometimes. It really is, but it is not the end and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If someone says they've never struggled in life, quite frankly they are lying.
Divorce is a hard thing. I still struggle with the aftermath of it.....even four years later. Something that defined you for years.....isn't that easy to forget. And finding yourself is a daily task. New normal isn't always easy....but for me it's been a blessing.
I am thankful that my smile is genuine now. I am in a good place and I will continue to march forward with my head held high. God knows the desires of our hearts....and he will fulfill them in His timing. Until then, I will be happy and continue to live my life and be thankful for everything I have. I truly am living in freedom now.
